No one is perfect. People do and say silly things all of the time. It’s a part of life. However, sometimes, those silly moments costs people plenty. Some have lost their jobs, some have lost relationships, some…have even lost their lives.
I’ve burned a shitload of bridges. I’ve annoyed and angered a few folks, yet when I have done these things, I have been myself and honest with myself most of the time. Lately, I haven’t been honest and I still burn bridges. I’m tired of burning bridges, I want things cool. I don’t like conflict at all. I am a comedienne at best with my quick wit, some don’t get that. I say things for laugh…not to piss folks off. I also been reacting in a silly way for reasons. I wish I could change the one reason, but it is a natural function for most women (unless surgery or whatever has it fixed).
Lately I have been just asking questions and calling out people on just really obvious shit. I’ve also been exploring my feelings to live my life honestly again. However it feels like I have stepped on some toes in the process. What am I to do? I’m being honest. I do think about where I want to go and why. I do think about maybe dating again. They are thoughts and I am being open about it. I explore my heart and mind because if I don’t, I do nothing and just fall apart.
I got a shitload of options in front of me. Thing is…I want to try them all, yet I know that isn’t wise for me. I don’t want to make the mistake of running thin. My big three are 1. NOAA Corps; 2. Wait for my apprenticeship to come; 3.Go back to school and get my second bachelors in electrical engineering. The NOAA Corps is my biggest one! That is where I am really pushing for myself to go. The opportunities and adventures that are involved are MAJOR! Needless to say, I am working on getting to my interview and making sure all of my papers are in.
Other things I want to do are 1. The 30 day Greyhound ride, 2. Hang with my buddy in Florida, 3. Ride a motorcycle for a little bit (if I can rent one… I am!) and 4. find a little peace of mind for now. I’ve been caught up in my heart for some time now. I just want it to stop. I want to live and be me again. I love being a caretaker and loving who I love, however I do need take care of myself for a bit of time. Guess I better start now!
I’m outtie for now! Catch everyone soon.
